Excellent counterpoint.

OK what’s the list so far?

Trump:
- Not Hitler.
- Not a groper.
- Not not made up of wet, year-old cheetoh bag dust rolled in the cat hair collecting under your bed.

Oh, honey, Mariah has been the shadiest bitch in all the kingdom since Xtina was prepubescent.

This. I've now seen all the seasons and the Miami and New York and Kocktails spin offs.

Mum with a clenched jaw and wee man with a “da fuq?” expression. They really are just like everybody else.

Yep. Hey, here’s a thought: Maybe if Jezebel made it a priority to pull its regular (friendly) commentariat out of the grays, these obnoxious randos wouldn’t find it so easy to hijack the comments section. I mean, if you’re going to have a two-tiered system, you may as well separate things out and put that boundary to…

I have the gif ready and waiting.

This gives whole new meaning to that song “I’m My Own Grandpa.”

HOLY CRAP THE KARDASHIANS ARE THE SOLUTION TO LICHTENBERG’S RIDDLE.

I knew a person who everytime they were mad at their significant other, they would find another of their significant others close friends and/or family members to bang in retaliation in order to alienate S.O’S social circle one by one. I called them the Sperminator.

Honestly, it’s practically criminal how many burners I’ve gone through because I’ve cleared my browser history and stuff and always lose the screenshot of my key. I probably deserve the grey, but not you! Someone help this wonderful creature out!

For sure! We’re on the same page. You have to have an inquisitive, open mind or life gets boring and that breeds resentment. My husband and I still pull all-nighters talking and giggling like idiots even if we just had spent a solid week together while he’s got vacation time or whatever. Figure out new recipes from…

Oh no of course, that’s what I meant. My ex was a smart guy, but very closed minded so in effect, was not curious, or ambitious, or interested in learning new things. That was the problem, not his education - that was just a symptom of a bigger issue.

I Google things all the time to settle disagreements, but my husband doesn’t take it as an insult (because it’s not), but neither of us like to be misinformed. And I correct him on his English grammar (and him with my Spanish) because who the fuck wants to sound stupid? If he wants those work promotions he should be…

We’ve only had real fights about his family, though - they hate me. The house stuff, we argue but it tends to end with the loser going “I guess you were right after all”. He likes the pink wall, and I like the sofa against the window.

So this kid is was sleeping with Beyonce and then cheated on her? C’mon dude, you are not Idris Elba.

I’ve never been to jezebel.com.

My mother always told us she raised us with “benign neglect.”

Oh, Kylie.

American Horror Story: Calabasas