This is pretty much my go to now when this stuff happens.

Leaving them out in the cold without a proper shelter for all of the dogs is, depending on your city or county laws, most do say that it is. I don't think picking up after them is unless it gets really bad like they can't walk anywhere without stepping in it (also might depend on city/county laws), though most people…

Maybe if they are small and can fit into my purse (I do have a decent size one, it fits my books and such), but only for the stealing part. I'm more partial to large dogs though some small ones have stolen my love.

Yes, I would never say it to somebody who doesn't know me that well. That could go south very fast.

I often tell people that I will steal their pets one day. They know I won't and it's my own disturbed way of saying that I really love their pet. I will also just say that I love their pet, but it is usually followed by the stealing aspect. It's a good thing that people know I'm joking.

Closest thing I've ever done to picking a guy up was giving a good looking guy at The Rave my free drink tickets. I turned him down, I just didn't want to have any drinks that night.