Oh, and I suppose you have a better place for guests to sit than trading turns in the single chair in the center of the table?

Everyone knows you don’t mention Sandra Lee in the cards. Otherwise someone might read it out loud, thus summoning her to the center of your tablescape where she won’t leave until she has imbibed every last drop of alcohol in your home, including your blood if you’ve already had a beer or two.

No no, you were clear. I’m agreeing with you. I have to try bras on in person and even if I wanted to buy them online, my size is one of the mystical unicorns that doesn’t exist in stock for more than 10 minutes.

Not just water sources. Ask someone from the US south what gets to be called “bourbon” sometime.

Even the stores on the internet are always sold out of my bra size. I support my locally owned bra store. It’s not like I save money online anyway, once you start sliding down the alphabet it’s all going to be $80+ anyway.

Don’t worry, I’m sure the doctor opened the canister and sniffed the embryo thoroughly before implanting it.

My generation is so fucked. Long-term fucked too. This shit is going to fuck us for decades. Income doesn’t ever actually catch up. I need a fucking drink. Fuck.

I understand.

The Rock has! He’s not even the slightest bit ashamed of having had lipo.

Hi. I sell macro needles. They’re mostly used for industrial purposes. They look like serial killer tools. They are also incredibly, hand-stabbingly sharp. Imagine the tip is a circular razorblade.

Wait...how...how does one make a steering wheel that accommodates long nails? Or were steering wheels before considered to be talon-hostile? Are we living in an age of talon-friendly steering wheels? I have so many questions.

This dude is a god damned monster. He needs therapy and consequences for his actions, which I’m sure Sarah will never give him. They’ll blame Obama even when Track ends up drunkening killing someone with his car.

I really want her to write a book one of these days.

Your employer should not be allowed to determine what kind of health care you get. Full stop. I don’t care if it’s birth control, hormone therapy, colonoscopies, flu vaccines, whatever. If they offer health care, they have to offer all healthcare. Comprehensive healthcare. Not partitioned healthcare based on what they…

The GOP motto is basically: “Government is broken. See, look how easily we keep breaking it.”

Jean and t-shirts. Reject the glamorization outright. Or, hell, pant suits.

Here’s the thing: “Lyft/Uber CANNOT pay their drivers minimum wage or give them the kind of benefits they might expect to see from Full Time employment.”

“Super Woke MEtoo”

Once hens at commercial farms stop laying, yeah, they’re pet food. A hen will lay 5 years or so, but they live 10. Once the laying stops, to Pureena they go. People in the US don’t like old chickens since they’re tougher to cook, but some do get processed for human consumption. They’re stewing birds. But yeah. Almost…

Pretty good odds, actually.