Yes! I was followed into the ladies by a knife-wielding cis man who intended to rape me (I escaped, thankfully). So because of that I’m no longer fond of unisex bathrooms unless they are single stall bathrooms, or there is a choice between men’s, women’s and unisex loos. But I have zero problem with trans women in the…

Of course, it would be wrong – so wrong – to suggest that Hefner ever did anything “for attention.” Did he have multiple girlfriends “for attention?” Nope. Hef just loves the ladeez. Did he invite the cameras into the mansion simply “for attention?” Nope. That was just generosity. Is he desperately trying to stay…

Here’s my girl. She is the quietest, sweetest, friendliest dog in the world. She is excellent with people, children, cats etc. The only time I have seen her cross was when a drunk man on the street shouted at me. Then she became all growly German Shepherd. I was very proud of her!

Yes, absolutely! Dogs are not racist. People are racist and dogs want to please their owners, even racist owners. So they can learn to be racist... But that’s true of people. Racism is not innate for humans either.

Thanks for that thoughtful response. Since writing the above I have been thinking quite a lot about these issues, and I think I may have hit on something. I realised that I don’t have a gender identity as such. I have a biological sex and a gender, which is basically the result of socialisation because of that…

One question: when you get right down to it, what exactly is the difference between tact and tone policing? I mean, I love a bit of righteous indignation myself but if people disagree on an issue I would much rather they engaged with the topic instead of it devolving into a bun fight. Nobody learns much from hearing…

Like you I don’t agree with much of what Burkett said and a lot of her language was fairly transphobic, but I do think the piece posed an interesting and important question. What does make a woman? I find it curious that self identity has gained such primacy in the current debate when surely lived experience and…

Oh I'm totally on board with "vag" as it is quicker and easier. And it's a shortened nickname which doesn't hide what it refers to, like "clam" or (ugh) "yoni".

Those are my go to words as well. It all depends on how you say them. In two decades of sexy times, I've never had a problem. If anything, partners have reckoned it sounded sexier because a supposedly clinical term has been made "dirty"...

I think you can use "penis" and "vagina" in a totally sexy manner - it's all in the inflection 😊

Seriously, the amount of people weirded out by the proper names for genitals makes me furious. If you need a cutesy nickname to feel comfortable talking about a body part, it's because you think it's kinda gross. Even though they have nicknames too, nobody reckons "lips", "eyes" or "legs" are unsexy. Personally I…

Picture the scene if you will. You are a man. You meet a woman. You chat, she laughs at your jokes and she is impressed that you speak several languages. You swap contact details. Work is sending you away for a few weeks and you agree to meet again when you return.

Yup, she essentially called them trashy and then said trashy was good for generating media interest. She knew the cover would be a talking point, but being an elitist (designer) asshat, she distances herself from them too. Can't have the old moneyed folk thinking she has let her exacting standards drop. It's not only…

I didn't know that about Mumbai so I will do some reading. Yup, trying to be a good person and not offend anyone can be tricky on occasion but certainly better than the alternative. And agree that we bring our assumptions to places, as I did the first time I visited the States. It was very different to what I…

I can imagine! Our dulcet (hur hur) Saffa accents don't help 😊

You're very welcome. I totally get why you'd be uncomfortable with the term "bushmen" as it certainly sounds pejorative and when I was a child in SA it was. I live in Europe at the moment and I feel weird using the term "Coloured" to refer to the mixed race people of South Africa because it is a slur here but is how…

I am going to take a wild guess and assume you are in the UK. London is full of South Africans. I'm glad to hear I wasn't the only one to notice it though.

Yup, you're right. There is not universal rejection of the term and various groups prefer different designations. I am not an expert on this so what follows is simply to the best of my knowledge. The Bushmen of the Kalahari prefer "Bushmen"; in South Africa, "San" is the preferred term. However, there aren't any…

I know. I thought that too for a long time. I mean "Bushmen" sounds derogatory and is a name given by the white colonists. Given that they prefer it to "San" shows how offensive the term is. Whatever their original name was has been lost (which sounds odd, but history can be) and it took some time for them to come to…

I figured you wouldn't so obviously I'm not criticising you at all! Not many people do. I loved the article and it is wonderful that you are introducing Saartjie Baartman's story to thousands of people. It is one that has long troubled me as I learnt about her as a kid and was living in SA when Nelson Mandela…