I’ve always been a big fan of the original Rocky, after Rocky V almost ruined the franchise for me when I was six. That said, Rocky’s love story seems to borrow heavily from Paddy Chayefsky’s Marty, which I love in addition to Rocky.

Rocky IV is a lot less cringe-worthy than say Red Dawn or Delta Force or Invasion U.S.A., as much as I admit it’s a 90-minute Yakov Smirnof joke.

Take out Creed, which I have yet to see, and that’s my list.

Welcome to “Tennessee Mom’s Movie Corner”. If there’s one thing appalling about The Jazz Singer, it’s the dancing.

Dance like no mom from Tennessee is watching, Cam.

After months blissfully ignoring “Hang Up And Listen”, I’ve relapsed. Is my hatred for their smugness justified, or out of fear that one day I too will be like Pesca, Fatsis and to a lesser extent Levin?

The color man isn’t helping, either.

They laughed when they said Rocky IV had no current pertinence.

His co-worker Jim has to fly from Santa Clara every week to make his shift and he’s not doing as badly.

“GEORGE, IT’S YOUR COUSIN MARVIN, MARVIN SEIFERT. YOU KNOW THAT HOT NEW STANDARD OF FUCKING UP A LEGACY YOU’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR? WELL LISTEN TO THIS!!!!!”

I’ll miss you most of all, Robotic Sex Doll Voice Thanking Me For Listening To Grantland.

At least when Dan Hedaya was fired from the Cubs he got a cushy hot dog sales position.

Of course Ruben wants his players to steal first.

So tempted to do a “You’d be wrong. They were never popular.” joke here.

There still has to be 75 year-olds who were rabid Los Angeles Chargers fans that one season.

Murph’s

*female sex robot voice* “And now... Dying Loved Ones with Chris Connelly.”

“Do you believe in voodoo economics... YES!!!”

Since Shirley Temple later became a bitter old bitch, you can say Joel Embiid was drinking Philadelphia sports fans.

RIP Bandit Ball