I hear the GOP wants James Crow to be the front runner on their ‘Rebirth of a Nation’ Campaign in 2024.

Make America Safe Again?

This surprises nobody!

I suppose the sensation of sitting in a Toyota is “oh, am I in a car?” though

So what you’re saying is that anyone who can’t telepathically read your mind is an ignorant dildo?  

People are ignorant dildos because they see you drive past a spot and assume you missed it or were going for another spot?  Ok...

Imagine this for a moment: It’s summertime, and you’re pulling up to a stoplight. As you come to a stop, there’s an absolute certified dime next to you. She’s driving something boring... maybe a mini-lux crossover like an Audi Q3.

It’s mine! I just forgot where I parked it. Thanks to the authorities for finding it for me after all this time.

This is an amazing looking car that needs to be understood in the context of the time in which it was released. Take a look at the sedans, both foreign and domestic, that were for sale at this time. In my eye, it still is a beautiful and revolutionary looking design. Compared to today’s tanks, it also has a…

Nice Price. These are really nice little cars, as long as you pay close attention to the tortuously-laid out cooling system. And while the ‘88s had that much-improved Lotus tuned suspension, replacement parts are a fiar bit more expensive.

Mr. McConaughey, please walk a straight line.

Has he tried creating a holographic representation of Elon and falling in love with it?

My favorite: My car tells me there’s a low-tire pressure, but doesn’t feel it necessary to tell me *which* tire. Have to pull out the OBDII reader for that -_-”.

Pontiac. Make them the cheap, fun brand of GM, especially aimed at younger buyers (Picture a GM version of Scion and you’re on the right track). Would be mostly catered to the Compact and Sub-compact segments, but a fun car mixed in here and there would provide a halo product for the brand.

It has to be Pontiac. GM powertrains and chassis have been excellent for a while now. Start off with resurrecting the G8 with a modern drivetrain, possibly a hybrid NA V6, a turbo V8 with mild-hybrid torque fill, follow up with a crossover (to keep them alive) or two with similar sporting pretensions.  Maybe a G6…

If Saturn comes back, I demand that all of the models be named for the planet’s moons. The sporty Saturn Iapetus, the spacious Saturn Tethys, etc.

I generally find the whole dead brand thing an exercise in trying to make something work that isn’t meant to work. But there is one exception for me:

Except they’re all denial minivans.