They should get comedians to roast the child molesters they catch. That would be funny TV

I talk about that in my book

We had some friends that would talk about Malnati's all the time like it was the best thing ever. I dunno though something about eating pizza with a knife and fork just turns me off.

I don't think anyone from Chicago actually eats the deep dish pizza

If they were smart they would team up and take out Subway. I never would have guessed that Jared would end up being a bigger creep than that stupid Burger King guy.

I have no idea how Kurt Sutter keeps getting work. Sons of Anarchy was laughably stupid

If anybody says they know the words to Down on the Corner without having to look them up, they are full of shit.

I hope he avoids politics and gets a show on MLB network. Dude is a baseball genius

Men always have it easier in movies. No one wants to see them naked, and if they do have to get naked they get a fake dong to cover up any possible "issues". If you're a girl with funny looking boobs tough luck for you.

I'm surprised there was no mention of Six Feet Under. That was one of the grossest things ever. I hated Brenda and banging her crazy(er) brother didn't help that much at all. Gross

Fuck this guy for making me defend Adam Sandler but a 1 percenter looking down on the rest of us is not really accurate

He stabbed the guy in Port Washington WI the town that Step by Step was set in…someone smarter than me should make a joke about that

Must be somethin' wrong with Al Pacino's nose
Cause the scent of a womans like rotten tomatos

A book is a bold choice when three quarters of your fans are illiterate

"…acting as the general punching band for the now-president’s key staffers." Is that right? Have I been saying it wrong? I thought it was punching bag. Or are both OK, like in line/on line? I hate when people say "waiting on line" and I think I'm going to hate it if I hear someone say "punching band" now too.

If one of these actors win an oscar I hope they send some random white guy to accept it

Hank III?

Han blue first

I was raised by my grandparents and the only show we ever all liked was the Price is Right. Watching those old clips reminds of faking sick and staying home from school, and when I got to college I used to call her almost every day to talk about that days show and how smart/dumb the contestants were or how good the…

This was seriously the most entertaining thing I have read in a long time.