This is why missed connections is the best place on the whole internet. But let's be fair here, cosplay posts are not quite as funny as larping posts.

I'm 22. And if he's 39, I'm 15. And at least I can pass for 18....which is not at all helpful when trying drink, and seems to earn me attention from younger versions of this dude. Actually, it's not at all helpful.

That sounds like something I need to try.

True, but do you really think someone creepy enough to go hunting for teenage girls to marry by posting photos of (supposedly) his tacky-ass house is above knocking a few years off his age in desperate hopes that it might make him more appealing?

I am not going anywhere near that comment, but maybe someone else will. I'll enjoy the show.

1) Is this a parody?

So what is the black bean soup called?

When criticizing a scientific paper...

So you're having a fit that I colloquially used a word that you reserve for use in a scientifically rigorous context?

So what dish do you think a "Wet Fart" would be?

The study actually showed temporality, one of Hill's criteria.

So a tiny, skewed sample noted some unspecified level of correlation between boobie surgery and sexual satisfaction (not that we know precisely what that means in this context).

Well....in case you've never tasted jizz before, you should know that it might be to your liking. Also, maybe the chocolate ice cream played into those love handles too?

I don't know who this Sufjan Stevens fellow is, and frankly I could care less. I just feel that I need to take the time to formally announce that Miley just kind of makes me feel nauseous. And not just this photo in particular, but her in general, as a person, simply by existing. Can she just go away forever please?

The mustache....

True enough. But I'm not sure if an exclamation mark is as much a sign of the wrong attitude taken while writing an apology as it is of bad writing in general.

You might want to work on your phrasing then...

I dated this super scrawny guy who was convinced that drinking those alone would make him bulk up. I kept offering to work out with him, lift some weights etc, no interest. Shockingly, results were limited.He did however convince me to drink a glass of that shit once.

Yeah, that just sounds like typical manipulative, selfish, shitty behavior. It's not limited to women, I've had guys pull that shit on me. I chewed them out, and well either they stopped or quickly became single.

I'll admit it.