For all intensive purposes it is a doggy dog world out there for grammarians. That’s why I like to have copy editors at my beckon call.

Ricky Gervais was on Conan’s show last week and opened with an obvious swing at Fallon. It was something like, “Conan, I’m always really glad to be here because you still do a talk show. You still do interviews. You don’t just sing to the audience.”

My wife only wants to be sexual near her period and seems put out that I have anysexual desire for her 2 other weeks of the month or that I want to spend time just pleasuring her, randomly on a Tuesday night. Menopause is on the horizon so not even hormones will put her in the mood at some point. I’m not prince…

every waking moment Jimmy Fallon spends offscreen is a moment he’s getting trashed and falling down

Old school pun time.

Or kind of like Samantha Who? but without the amnesia?

any time i see ted danson’s name now, i just think of larry david.

Yes, how dare Ciara fail to recognize the solemnity of this occasion.

Jason Whitlock, ladies and gentlemen, is a defender of all that is decent. Except, of course, when he’s not. Case(s) in point:

I once saw fully covered boobs when I was a wee lad, and now it’s all I can do to keep myself from stripping down to my briefs, slathering myself in brown gravy, and dancing on the roof of a car demanding fresh goats to sate my blood-lust. Boobs are dangerous.

I couldn’t concentrate on anything else in the video after seeing Patriotic Elephant. PATRIOTIC ELEPHANT!!!!

half of his complaint emails are probs just videos of him crying and drinking nanobubbles

Gervais just ended the show by saying ’From me and Mel Gibson ‘Shalom!’

she might be sick at this point from all meds she is taking

My favorite was Justin Theroux’s character with the awesome family but is a whiny little B who won’t talk about his solvable performance issues.

Mad Magazine also had a field day with this

Okay, if I’m rich and see some tea that costs $120 I want some and I’m not realy a big tea drinker. But the Wu Tang thing? I don’t think ODB is on it and you can get a whole cd of ODB for about $8 on amazon. That is the real issue.

Didn't have the security code on the back ;)

Yeah but like people die because of Martin Shkreli being an asshole so other people being an asshole to him is completely justified. Like, she could’ve peed in his $120 tea under the table while he was in the bathroom and that also would’ve been justified.