My guess is that he was once 6 feet tall, but probably hasn’t been for 30 years.

As somebody who falls just short of 6'2" but has plenty of friends in that neighborhood, I think of it that way until I find myself standing in a crowd of people. And then I realize how short the population is. 

I think he looks short because he’s usually hunched over. When he stands up straight like in the debate photo above, he looks tall. Posture is important Bernie!

It’s a total failure if it doesn’t.

The tricky part is staying in the refrigerator long enough for them to set.

You guys are really free to stop giving Jeffree Star attention any time. No one here will be sad about it.

sackarons, then?

Depending on where you go, it could range from being because customers steal the salt shakers or some uppity chef believing he’s mastered something subjective like the saltiness of food.

Deez...macarons?

Those are going to be the best thing at someone’s gay bachelor party very, very soon.

That person? Should stay the fuck home.

Dear LW,

Of course, it’s completely impossible that the server happened to notice the table was missing a salt shaker and dropped one off around the same time the letter writer was being passive-aggressive about an appetizer. I guess in this person’s world, it’s all a conspiracy and there’s absolutely no such thing as…

“Don’t Spy On Me”

Dear Dumbass,

“Dear Salty: My server was attentive and responsive to my needs and now I am mad about it.”

Your server wasn’t eavesdropping, you have a loud piercing voice. Based on this letter, the last thing you need is more salt.

The extra 10% is for being a clown, complaining about a server attempting to remedy a complaint...

Good lord people are the worst....

If you think the server is eavesdropping, unless it’s an otherwise empty restaurant, odds are you were speaking too loudly. Yes, even if you think you lowered your voice. Speak as loudly or quietly as you want, so long as you aren’t disturbing other customers, but you should never be under the impression that someone…