All I'm seeing is "Buy an iPad, then spend half as much again for a peripheral to make it half as good as the shittiest, cheapest laptop."

As someone who finds it hilarious at how frustrated friends and partners get when I tell them literally nothing about work I do which is subject to "If you tell anyone this we will bury you" agreements (but just enough to be a dick about it), I am willing to submit myself to trials. Keeping a secret is piss easy.

SLUTMACHINE.

Tell him to practise and stop being a fucking blouse.

"Ever hear the gas chambers hissing when they play that team with the jewish connection?"

Or "The wheels on your house go round and round" after learning a player moved into a trailer after being made homeless for whatever reason.

Outside of America, cider is nearly always alcoholic. Otherwise it's just apple juice.

Fortunately, they're all localised to the United States, so it's cool.

A billion people around the world.

I'm am hoping that a woman does take him up on the offer, attends the game, has a good time... and then says "No, I'm not going to suck your dick. What are you gonna do, cry? Move out my way, bitch."

Tell me we've "turned a corner" when presidents are allowed to have beards.

What about dudes who hate all that stuff?

I try to actually meet them first.

That's why he's gonna be just fine.

1) If I'm using blue balls to describe anything that doesn't actually turn your balls blue, I'm using hyperbole.

Yeah, in the real world if a girl colludes in a man's expectation that they will have sex and then reneges - that she has given him blue balls. Which is to say: She has disappointed him.

I just got off the phone with the guys. They've agreed to not get violent when you invite them up to your apartment, they say something stupid and you blue-ball them.

Does 'politeness' not exist where you come from?

I use that these techniques on people here all the time, it just enrages them.

This reminds me of my disappointment on finding out that the Cod War was actually about Cod.