I think he should get the bat kid to bring him a second bat at home plate that he can flip a second time once he crosses home. I mean, he’s Joey Bats, not Joey Bat.

The first sign the company was in a tailspin should have been that the "Senior Communications Manager" was using Comic Sans as her e-mail font.

This is the type of thing that would cause me to hang out with a friend less and/or completely avoid them. Have some empathy for the poor bastards that have to clean up after your slovenly ass.

What’s great is this is just Solid-Ass PG 101. Any coach at HS or above could use this video for their point guards: “if Andre Miller can do all of this at 39, you can do most of it now.”

What would be great would be if Mr. & Mrs. Wayne arranged their estate so Bruce couldn’t touch the money, and had to continually convince his trust manager to buy this shit for him.

My girlfriend and I bought a king when I moved in, and I'm not exaggerating when I say it basically saved out relationship.

2) Leaving

Yes, Sir! We read everything he writes. And we are extremely proud, not only of the writer he has become, but of the man he has become.

Here’s one tip I’ve found useful - you don’t necessarily have to do it in the first week, but you should try to do it within the first month.

I dunno, I think KO would be a pretty good boss and an incredibly shitty employee.

From what I’ve read, he hides the traffic numbers from his writers and never has them focus on any of that stuff, and actually removed facebook comments from Grantland. I’m sure the Facebook thing was to keep criticism away from him as well, but he seems like a guy protective of his writers.

Depends on your tolerance of “Parker Lewis Can’t Lose”

Yes he would and here are a bunch of out of context lines from “Casino” and “My Cousin Vinny” that explain why.

I’m pretty sure the “90 minutes” refers to the amount of time during the month that ESPN.com’s front page prominently linked to a Grantland piece rather than an ESPN piece, not the length of some piece of marketing ESPN did for them. In times past a significant if not the primary portion of their traffic came via…

Bullshit aside, I couldn’t imagine a better email I would want to receive if I were on that staff. That’s good work by him.

I’m bummed about the firing (because he was taking ESPN’s money and turning it into Wesley Morris articles, 30 for 30s, and Zach Lowe podcasts, and I’d read a 100,000 word Simmons meander-piece a week to keep those three things coming) but when are they going to yank his name and face off the site? It’s fucking weird…

Before today Mr. Draper, you were as unrecognizable as the rest of the replacement-level folks on Deadspin (despite reading that sentence 3 times and not believing myself, I really do not mean that as an insult to the staff of Deadspin).

First Valentine's with her? You're stuck with that card. You don't have to have it out on DISPLAY forever (although it had better be sitting out on a desk for at least the rest of the month) but you're going to want to store it in a drawer or something so you can produce it when she asks about it.

I took it to mean friend-zoned. Which outside of John Hughes movies, never works in you getting the girl. So either accept being friends with her, or be honest and move on.

Guys don't dump friends, they just fade away. That way, who knows, down the road your interests might converge and you're friends again. It's a very elastic concept.