Your morning roundup for May 4, the day we again discovered Xanadu in Jersey.

Your morning roundup for May 3, the day certain Canadians declared they're moving to Greenland.

Your morning roundup for May 2, the day Fox News kept being wrong.

Your morning roundup for May 1, the day after Seth Meyers said Weekend Update stuff to people's faces.

Your morning roundup for April 30, the day we deal with Ouzo hangovers from George Kalpaxis and Julie…

Your morning roundup for April 29, the day "special cookies" in zip-lock freezer bags got real.

Your morning roundup for April 28, the day we learn that God's advice for ending a 46-day beer-only fast is with a…

Your morning roundup for April 27, the day we let the idiots drive the national agenda.

Your morning roundup for April 26, the day we called a truce with the jellyfish kingdom.

Your morning roundup for April 25, the day that we were just five days away from ceasing to hear about wedding plans …

Your morning roundup for April 24, a day Gabrielle Giffords continues struggling to recover, but recovering she is.

Your morning roundup for April 23, the day we hear about how a Tennessee woman's heart stopped beating for five…

Your morning roundup for April 22, the day America went to its room and listened to Smiths records.

Your morning roundup for April 21, the day after McDonald's "National Hiring Day" in Cleveland got real. Real…

Your morning roundup for April 20, the day we started buying all of our heroin on Craigslist.

Your morning roundup for April 19, the day we pre-ordered our Iggy Pop action figure.

Your morning roundup for April 18, the day a famous surgeon resigned for suggesting that unprotected sex was "a…

Your morning roundup for April 17, the day burglars everywhere accept the fact that trying to rob 81-year-old…

Your morning roundup for April 16, the day Ralphie turns 40, making a whole lot of people question their very…

Your morning roundup for April 15, the day after Walter Breuning died of natural causes. He was 114 years and 205…