Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love…

A pug! Singing the Batman TV show theme.
Twitter is an inherently silly and disposable means of communication. Oh, but there are people out there who take…
"A German court on Tuesday threw out the case of a schoolteacher against a pupil who allegedly tormented her by…

I ate a steak last night with béarnaise sauce, and I'm now of the age where doing something like that has definitive…
"Police responded early Friday to a call of shots fired at a home in Roberts and found a man apparently…

Have you heard? Anybody who's anybody knows that the coolest thing to do now—at least in the lawless cesspool of the…
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase a few heartwarming true stories of drunken…

No time to waste. We again go right to your letters:
Chris Jones, he of that other really good Roger Ebert piece, has a story in the recent Esquire about the time…
After more than 30 surgeries, Texan Sheyla Hershey's M-cup bosom finally had enough. Her latest procedure gave her a…
Welcome to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature wherein hard-working kids with good heads on their shoulders try to…
I love to fart. I really do.
And now the second most important man in Cleveland has abandoned both the city and this mortal coil. [Cleveland.com]
This Juarez street clown was arrested Wednesday on an alleged sexual assault charge filed by his teenage…
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken…

Let's get right to your letters. We're in for a cocksuckin' good time today, cocksuckers.

Here's a video by street artist Blu, who paints our evolutionary history on various surfaces and records it all…