If it came out that Hanks was a part of a messed up sex cult, it would not shock me in the least.

I do not want to see Robert Kraft given a blowjob, but I do want to live in a world where the video of Robert Kraft getting a blowjob is widely available.

holy shit i totally spaced that. yeah, uncut fantasia is worse than dumbo. uh... replace it with chico & rita.

Any animated film without racist crows is probably better. Grave of the Fireflies, Akira, Finding Nemo, Fantasia, How to Train Your Dragon, Nausicaa, and so forth. Dumbo didn’t need to be remade because it was so inessential imo.

Ive got Ionosphere Torres, Sharky Laguana, Corno Pronk, and Chastity Gooch-Fant in my final four, but damn is it tough to pick

When you don’t pay for free agents (as my team did not), it makes it seems like you don’t care. If you don’t pay your payers like they’re valuable, it makes it seem like they’re not (and ergo, not valuable because they’re not that good). Both these things make being a fan tough! 

how dare you, i too want to star in a flash movie i wrote that no one in hollywood seems interested in

Put the fans behind plexiglass boards like in hockey or in stands fifty feet away from the court like football or behind enormous netting that stretches to the rafters like baseball, or in Utah’s case all three. I will never understand why basketball allows rich dipshits to essentially sit with players.

I thought this was a new teen girl squad

That’s because alerting the general public as to how the powerful are doing unfair bullshit is the job description for journalists, or at least it used to be. if you want bootlicking, go to literally any major corporate news site.

Even better, for the second kid “uh yeah, you know what? don’t bother, we’re not spending that kind of money for you.”

wow that adam zekeman bit was literally “what if michael scott but an snl performer” 

The most put-upon fan base in football, man what?? Lions and Browns fans would disagree, sir

Is it fair to say this is for better and for worse a similar experience to Black Panther, which was also fun and full of big ideas, but also all over the fucking place and ultimately not tight enough to pull it off?

it will probably be top 10 this year, but with a star wars, an avengers, a lion king, a toy story, a fast & furious, the it sequel, a spider-man and a frozen, its certainly not a guarantee.

minnesota high schools are not know for their racial sensitivity, least of all in the realm of hockey

oof, youre not wrong there. love watching marta get bounced from the tournament every year.

my favorite thing about womens soccer, which i noticed right away when i first started watching it in 2007, is that if a woman dives, every other woman on the field just keeps playing and stomping over them. it felt like the attitude for everyone was ‘don’t give them one reason to say we’re not as tough or athletic’…

oh for sure, there’s a reason it’s illegal for members of the military to unionize, the troop-humping can never be anything but symbolic, which is why they would be brought in as refs to break the ref union, then never allowed to unionize themselves. lip service only, the way nfl fans like it!

its honestly surprising the nfl hasnt thought of making the refs all troops and cops already. sure the game would suffer, but the ratings would soar amongst their desired fanbase.