40 degree heat.

Seriously, I’ve been watching too much House of Cards and I’m scared someone’s gonna Frank Underwood this national treasure.

Between his stance on abortion and this position on dildos Cruz is dangerously underestimating the trollop voting bloc. I really want to make bumper stickers that say “I’m an irredeemable slut, and I vote.”

I feel like Craig needs to be sent some wine or other beverage of his choice. The guy had to live with Ted Cruz. We didn’t.

I would read that shit in one sitting, start to finish.

lets start a kickstarter, because this is hilarious

Oh, please let it be soon.

How much longer until someone offers this guy a huge advance for a tell-all book about his time living with Ted Cruz?

@miamaya: Bijou Phillips is a Scientologist, which makes her a hell of a lot more unreliable than her 15-years-sober sister.

@poppy.claire: And I get a F on spelling, grammar, and delivery. I guess anger + booze + dying computer battery doesn't mix well.

@Charlotte Rae's Web: Her father introduced her to drugs and taught her to shoot up from a very young age. That is something no one in her family disputes, and it is itself abuse.

For Mackenzie to be able to count on two hands, the people who knew what was going on...that's a lot of people.

@Charlotte Rae's Web: You really think the inappropriate touching started when she was 18, and she woke to him raping her? No, the abuse started way earlier. Especially with the drugs that her gave her.

@SugitaAlcimede: Yeah, I think her sister got her in contact with them. I hope they don't do further damage to her.

@WhoaMama: So maybe it's all her fault and she made it up? How very Freudian and victim-blamey.

@SugitaAlcimede: I think Bijou is a Scientologist, and she is dating one of the Masterson brothers, who are also Scientologists.

BACK THE FUCK UP. Did mackenzie allude to the fact that she was saved by NARCONON? (The $cientology rehab corporation?) Seems like an important thread to follow up on, Jez.

@Bunsen Honeydew: Yeah. When children (and adult children fall into this category, because we are all somehow infantilized when around our families) behave in a sexually precocious manner towards a family member it is one of the glaring signs of abuse. People learn how to treat people in appropriate ways. People in…

Okay, I know we're all hating on Michelle, but Genevieve's comment really pissed me off:

Something I've learned in working with substance users: