I must say, I was expecting a heftier price tag for a celebrity wedding dress. $8,600 is downright reasonable with wedding dresses...at least if Say Yes to the Dress is any indicator.

One of my fondest childhood Christmas memories was when I woke up and found that I had gotten the coveted TalkBoy Tape Recorder. My dad’s girlfriend at the time had a tradition with her kids of leaving one unopened present from Santa. Upon seeing it, my brother thought it was his and got super excited, and she was…

“Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you want an Oscar?”

Came for this comment, was not disappointed. Thank you.

Saw the headline. First thought: He wrote them out on the screen.

Huh. I figured for sure it would be crayon.

Mr. Duck found some vintage glass decorations and we’ve used them every year since. They’re so funky and nostalgic.

Yes to the white lights! They are prettier, more magical, and throw off enough illumination that I can turn off all the other living room lights and it’s perfect. Colored Christmas lights are displeasing to my eyes.

Yeah, fuck that noise. Messy, constant watering, and “smell” lasts for all of a week when you’d be better served just lighting a pine candle that fills the whole house. Worse, you don’t get to choose how long it stays up without becoming a fire hazard. Plus, they seem to go up in price every year (fuck you Boy Scouts!)

Yeah, a family I grew up down the street from lost 3 kids one Christmas in a house fire that started when their real tree went up.

Christmas dishes!!! I’m aware of my storage and budget limitations, but I would collect multiple patterns if I could.

The even distribution of tree ornaments. I can’t stand having two of the same kind two close together or “holes” where there’s nothing, or having them bunched together too much. It’s bad enough that we have to leave the bottom row of branches bare because of Cat Tooth Destruction.

I do make popcorn garlands! I think they look pretty! Or I used to. My cat loves popcorn, to the point of you have to be hunched over the bowl to keep him away and him stealing it from between your fingers, so we can’t have popcorn on the tree anymore. I tried adding cranberries one year, but it was messy.

Abu’s expression of perplexed incredulity is pretty much exactly the expression I’m wearing right now.

Wow, that looks awful.  Did they get their costumes at Party City?

Nothing says “Feminist counterpart” like a princess’s handmaiden.

For reasons that are beyond me (it’s always cocaine).

Will read the whole thing later (WAY too long for me right now), but I can assure the Jezebel crowd that this $1000 cookie (wha.. how..for fucks sake...) is not the best cookie.

I appreciate the time and effort you took in bringing this piece to us. I thank you for confirming that I never need to spend time thinking about this man ever again. Thank you for your service and sacrifice.

I didn’t know I needed these but THANK YOU!