there’s a huge gap between “too impaired to drive safely” and “too drunk to live safely”.

According to state law, blowjobs are illegal in Georgia. You going to stan for that, too?

The people have clearly spoken. From now on we expect only the most sterling examples of humanity, only faultless tales of innocent virginal waitress waifs intent on selflessly improving humanity through tireless unpaid drudgery being scurrilously abused.

Soup goes in, no soup goes out...you can’t explain that!

OK but one time I picked up a hitchiker who was carrying soup and by the time I dropped him off the soup had mysteriously vanished. Explain that!

Bless slightly tired middle-aged angel.

stepped forward and told the man to “put your wallet away - no one is impressed by how much debt you have.”

Whatever his motive, he may have saved someone's life - including the customers'. As for overserving, let's assume the customers sat there for four hours of trivia, drinking watery, cut-rate margaritas. That means they got 1.5 drinks per hour worth of alcohol if they even got a full serving in those icy sugar bombs,…

I’m fairly certain his credit cards outnumbered his brain cells by at least 2:1

Actually, he wouldn’t have known they were going to drive home if they hadn’t tipped him badly/he hadn’t gone outside to confront them, so...

do you know how many projectile pop related deaths there are each year?

ONES OF THEM.

Oh come on man, no restaurant that’s already serving alcohol at a discount would *ever* force an employee to over serve or skimp on the training. NEVER. Never Ever.

I read this in Stefan’s voice.

This BCO.... this BCO has EVERYTHING (to make you believe in Justice!)....

You also wouldn’t want to see the stacked boxes of “fresh” toppings in the freezer.

I’m looking forward to the first person shouting ASSAULT! because reasons.

Honestly, it’s like they’re not even trying this week.

Well, I mean, the soup lady thought that if she repeated that she wanted soup enough times, she’d get some.

“Holly probably RIGGED the coffee shop door to try to make that poor woman’s life difficult! She’s guilty of ASSAULT! ASSAULT ASSAULT ASSAULT ASSAULT! IF I SAY IT ENOUGH TIMES, IT MAGICALLY BECOMES TRUE!”

Unless someone is bleeding or dying, it can wait. Let's include vomiting.