Yeah, that’s not gonna happen. It’s not my fault if someone gets butt hurt over a phrase that’s been used in this manner forever simply because getting butt-hurt is the in thing these days. Besides, it’s a choice to be offended. Choose not to.

“I have been dating a man for almost a decade. Neither one of us wants to get married.”

Kids know that birthday party = gifts so if you specify no gifts, the kids will think the other kids hate them.

“...your kid needs to be in bed by 8:30.”

Every party needs a pooper...

Obviously you’ve never had a kid march in the parade.

You know.sometimes in life you have to hug someone you really don’t want to and you live.

Painting with some PRETTY broad strokes here...

“...her husband gets to be the “fun parent,” the one who builds literal forts with the kids.”

“For now, in any case, I keep telling my toddler her favorite color is green.”

It’s not.

Is DST really that big of a deal? I enjoy an extra hour of sleep when I get it or I just lose an hour when we shift the other way. I’ve never noticed any issues, and neither have my kids.

“No, I do not want to come to your dry party for kids.”

Man, I miss my Dragon Dice!!

Man, I miss my Dragon Dice!!

This strikes me as one of those “it can happen, but it probably won’t” type of things. We’ll be fine. The sky is not falling.

Or, I don’t know, teach your kids that dressers are not ladders.

My Out of Office says simply:

“athleisure” - What a stupid word.

“I’ve heard a lot of people say, ‘Why do athletes get involved in the national anthem protests?’

“And don’t let the media scare you out of a good time...”