The past year has been longer than the entire Obama presidency.

AKA..Don’t shit where you eat

There shouldn’t be a problem with sex, whether or not a date happens to begin with, so long as all parties give consent and are safe in their practice of it.

Satan and God are actually pretty tight.

I never forgave him for those State of the Black Union Conferences my momma dragged me to as a child.

There is no bottom with trump people. It’s “Hold my beer” time.

4:44 was dope, it just ain’t the type of turn-up music that people seem to want to hear all day long these days. I liked it for what it was, which was the 1st popular rap record from a 50 year old millionaire ever. Definitely the greatest example of “grown up” hip hop music.

I was with you (kinda) until you got to DAMN. How you gonna...this didnt hit you like:

4:44 was good but yeah ain’t much replay value outside of Bam. SZA is instagram caption music. More Life is Drake literally trying everything and seeing what sticks. Thundercat is an album for people who like to pretend they know music.

But does she watch you eat a sandwich and wait until you’re down to the last two bites that you’ve been thinking about since before you actually started eating the damn sandwich because they are the two best bites of the whole damn sandwich and then demand that you give her a bite and then she proceeds to eat those…

On behalf of white people, can you please send us some Doan’s back pills or some Aleve?

I’m done. I’m so done with us. From now on, every time I met a fellow white woman who says she’s from Alabama, I’m smacking her face and revoking her woman card.

Well...there IS, but it’s “Plan BB.”

Don’t even get me started! Like, dude, you really pulled your sons out of high school and college to pursue basketball? Damn an education! Ain’t no plan B in the Ball house!

I’m with you. Electing a white racist pedophile just to erase the taste of the first black president out of their mouths would be the cherry on top of the “MAGA” shit cake.

If you feel like it it must be true, which means the label on those pants has to be fake news. It’s a conspiracy by the manufacturer.

I have a feeling Roy Moore winning the Alabama senate race is the most 2017 story possible.

Whole piece worth reading (and ignoring that it’s all facts) just for this line: