My wife is high maintenance, but very reliable. I just need to remember she runs hot.

Great story, save for the whole part about taking $ from Jerry Falwell.

Pastor Maldonado never fails to stop for fuel in his rental car.

Only 3/5 as much as you think.

I know this is cruel, but I want this app to become more popular. The more people weeded from the gene pool, the better, and that includes me if need be. :-)

The reason Drumpf doesn’t want his tax returns revealed has nothing to do with russia. His base wouldn’t care if they showed Russian links. What the returns COULD show that would hurt him is that he not only isn’t a billionaire, but he’s in debt to his eyeballs and isn’t really worth shit. THAT is what think he’s…

Variable gravity or denser bones or a bunch of crippled T.rex littering the antediluvian plains.
Pick one, or revise the math.

I’m glad to hear this news. If I’m gonna be eaten by a T-Rex, I’m gonna at least make that motherfucker work for it.

Upon discovery of her Canadian citizenship the former senator simply responded that she was very sorry.

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE?

is that an order of operations
1. boner
2. boning
3. preggers
4. baby

Hello! Welcome to the Hall of Presidents. We have some of the most tremendous Presidents. Like Reagan, Wilson and Fredrick Douglass. I received more votes than all of them. Combined. Look at my map. I colored it myself, stayed in the lines too! Obama can’t color in the lines. Did you know that these aren’t even real…

You’re lucky. I bought 4mb for $400 in days of yore... sigh.

Understeer: you see the bystanders you mow over

You know what, after further thought YES let’s be a dick about this.

Thank god they’ve got excellent health care!