Just tell them they’re not that attractive and you don’t know who let them talk. Maybe if they were hotter you would listen to their opinions.

come on tho, everywhere is terrible. Not especially Florida, including Florida. And I would take Florida drivers over these SLOW ASS OREGONIANS WHO WON’T DRIVER FASTER THAN 45 ON THE INTERSTATE

It’s not about finding the bar, it’s about avoiding the hellscape of traffic. My GPS sends me the most efficient way.

An old Navy Officer I worked with told me about filing a TFOA report after unloading the bombs from a Jet. Stands for “Things fell off Aircraft” Might be a bolt, might be a bomb.

He got served.

In Soviet Russia, server hit on you.

"Do? Well, I've never watched a person asphyxiate before, so here's my chance."

“Here, we see a server remove the packaging from a frozen cheesecake that arrived on truck this morning to be thawed in a cooler. And so begins and ends our tour of Obscene Selection of Cheesecakes.”

Staring at a paper map while driving is also not a recommended way of driving if you want to lead a long and healthy life.

It’s not against the healthy foods movement, it’s against the pseudo-science alarmist movement.

It’s not pushing back against healthy eating, it’s pushing back against the bullshit, non-science based nonsense that idiots like the Food Babe focus on.

o’nutters

This is really unnecessary.

Even if you can't paint, change up the lighting. You would not believe the psychological difference between your ceiling's shitty fluorescent harsh white bulb and a warmer-toned lamp or two. I'm also a big fan of stringing a chain of white christmas lights around the room where the ceiling meets the walls for ambient,…

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. Isn’t this this “cunt punt” insane email chick? I’d expect nothing less than this exact response from her.

I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE AND I AM FOR IT

"Hey Gypsy, what's your favorite Slayer song?"

Why ish he giving me the dimenshions of the playmate of the month via Morshe Code?