"No way you find Hatch open like that after a plane crash."

but they were still all pretty good, save for maybe the one with Samuel L. Jackson

Is it just me or has Tweet Beat been really boring these last few months? I stopped reading it a while ago and thought I'd check back in today...nope, still boring.

Arianna is a liar along with her staff. Back in August there was a promise that all commentators would be grandfathered in and did not need Facebook link. Yesterday to comment ALL needed a facebook link. I will not due FB and lots won't either.

And you thought Celine Dion was the biggest gash to come out of Quebec.

Why the hell is this two minutes long? It is so long. Nothing really happens.

Lots of perfectly nice people have awful children. Having kids is like a box of chocolates, you never know if they'll end up being a douche.

This post makes Kobe seem overpriced, aged, and tender. I really can't disagree.

He was great on my Madden team....not so great on Grand Turismo

Huh, I figured he was more of a djinn guy.

I'm disappointed for Joan Rivers. She was a trailblazer for women comedians. She was tough. She made her career happen in the face of sexist adversity and became a legend. Now she's going to be remembered as a plastic surgery addict who talked shit about other women's dresses on the E! network. This is her legacy now.

Incognito: Siri, send a message to Jonathan Martin saying I have Snickers leftover from Halloween.

Siri: I sent a text message to Jonathan Martin

Martin: :(

I know a guy who's a big fan of the Bears who's kept a beard since the early 90s - he even has a name for it, "Kelly Preston"

Londoners are beginning to fondly remember the days when they only had to endure blitzes from Germany.

But can you truly appreciate that tan without god?

Wacky stuff.

The SUV driver ran over a member of a mob, that was threatening his family after trying to illegally shut down a highway, in an attempt to escape said violent mob. Make sense now?

You make one ignorant, racist comment about Amistad on your iPhone and it Hounsou forever.