This is such a dumb article, I'm going to focus instead on how much it would make me giggle if a senator named Whitehouse ran for president.

Ross K. Baker also wrote this article, right? More proof that when men go, "I'm not sexist, I vote for Democrats," the correct response is, "Ha ha ha ha, you're adorable!" That said, I have to give Baker credit for this pun:

All I can see is this:

Any action taken whilst in possession of a vag renders said action wrong. Unless said action involves pushing a baby out of said vag.

Here we are - our tributes from District 12!

Alternate Fox News approved course titles:

It's like a really bad infomercial with really bad *actors*.

It's really sad that we - or I, I guess - have to feel SO much appreciation for the simple act of someone believing and understanding that the facility with which so many people have to question and disbelieve women when they come forward is such a problem. When people discuss how to solve the rape problem or prevent…

I was homeschooled. I followed a normal curriculum that had no religious influence at all. I was supervised by a credentialed teacher who I could email or call if necessary. I graduated two years early from high school. Nothing wrong with homeschooling if it's done right.

I can't find a .gif.

What the..... I can't believe he went there.

I have a guy friend who has to use magnums because regular condoms squeeze his dick and fucking hurt.

The internet is a great thing. Hopefully people realize that now they can order all kinds of condoms and probably get them sent discreetly! I understand that this may not have been an option for you back when you needed variety.

Few things kill my sense of humor faster than information that may lead to unsafe sex. A decade of talking to idiot teenagers has taught me not to take anything for granted.

"Dear Fans: I would like to personally thank you for giving me the opportunity to bring laughter back into your lives tonight."

White ladies from Australia saying stupid shit: Wallaby damned.

Lol forever @ "hypnotic douche magic"

Giada was holding his hand and she just had a huge grin on her face.

You will never know the absolute glee you feel to have a "SNOW DAY!!!!" at 35-years-old. It's as if eternal youth is pumping through your veins. I will take a few -40 days, for 3 snow days a year in WI!