He would’ve been the Lakers starting center and, probably, their second best player, if the Lakers hadn’t let him go to create cap room that they didn’t use. Instead, the Lakers now want to sign Tyson Chandler.

I might not be asking this if he weren’t a flat-earther, but... are we sure he did that intentionally?

Since she wouldn’t allow her picture to be taken...

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present the new University of Maryland football coach.

I have friends who have daughters. Once the older one (14) told the middle one (9) that “gullible” meant “really smart and cool.” For upwards of a year she would call her little sister “gullible” frequently, which always brought a smile to the younger girl’s face, but little else.

I dunno. If I were Kaepernik, I’d consider an offer to be starting QB for the Raiders, behind that O-Line, to be a death threat.

Tom Cable is an asshole. Am I doing this right?

I dunno. White guys with dreadlocks are usually pretty insufferable. 

Please, everyone, let’s get this horrendous pun back in earlgreys.

Well that clears it all up.

And finds you GUILTY!

when the Lions had players put their hands in a box and figure out what they were touching.

I think this is the best work you’ve done here Chris since I’ve been around and following you. Nice job

how could anyone possibly give a shit 

Do sarcasm meters get shut off after 9 p.m.?

This just proves to me that Mark Wahlberg has no concept of time. Or stares at walls blankly, which I imagine him doing a lot.

“I’m here to help the Raptors become champignons.”

C'mon man, this is the ravens. It's gotta be stabbing.

No trust me, scoring a touchdown in Aussie football is way harder, so much so that it’s never been done.