Some people say that it’s difficult for Trump to release his actual medical records because they’re buried in a warehouse in New Jersey, along with his tax records and his NAMBLA membership card. Some people are saying that.

Or at least as soon as they are old enough to tell you it's embarrassing and hurting them. What reason do they have for not stopping besides humiliating her.

I have no problem with this.

“Now, Sir, I know you were stabbed but did you ever think to angle your body away from the knife? Perhaps mashing your ribs together so the blade couldn’t jam into your heart?”

Futilely?

1. Go to vet school

I’m especially horrified by “...So I gave you what you wanted.”

Absolutely. The hotel room “detour” definitely connotes that.

When my wife went through 40 hours of labor, I was glad that she finally knew what it felt like when I got a cold.

Don’t forget: men, apparently, never take their kids to the doctor. It’s always the women.

And also...so what if they take every available sick day? I get that it’s a problem if you start taking more time than you actually have, but if I take all of the time the company allotted to me (for whatever reason) why is that somehow then seen as a problem? If you don't want me to take 12 sick days, do not offer me…

Yeah, but men never have to take “Junior” to the hospital. And that’s why women make terrible employees.

I know. I mean why does my wife need more than 3 pairs of shoes? Sport, casual and dress suits me just fine.

Taking “Junior” to the hospital is a totally valid use of a sick day under basically every rule out there. What the fuck.

I would like to take a moment to pay tribute to my father, Marine Corp Colonel Samuel Tillett for his courageous and near fatal actions, attempting to save as many lives as possible 15 years ago today in his position as head of security at The Pentagon. When the plane hit my father was not but a hundred feet from the…

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