ATTENTION WHITE SISTREN: BLACK MEN DO NOT OWE YOU THEIR ATTENTIONS, SEXUAL OR OTHERWISE. PLEASE BE RESPECTFUL OF THEIR BODILY AUTONOMY, ESPECIALLY GIVEN HISTORICAL DENIAL OF SAID BY YOUR FUCKING PEOPLE.

I’m going to hell for laushing so hard at this.

That poor kid. She’s probably got whiplash now. She should sue.

This is terrible and I definitely cackled.

No....some super virus that makes all his hair fall out.....5 to 1 he quits the race

Disneyfication is the one sweet solace that I take, having grown up on Long Island and now living in Alabama. At least I know that thousands of New Yorkers miss old NYC too. It’s just not the same. Otherwise, I would be homesick 24/7.

Colony! Oh how many hours I spent in there! All of my cast recordings we either purchased there or Tower before everything was ruined.

Colony was a ripoff that sold CD’s for double the price anywhere else. They did have an impressive selection I will admit.

Times square was in no way a toilet in 1995. It just wasn’t the selfie-taking idiot tourist nightmare it is today.

I’m relieved that my initial assumption that this had something to do with Ellen Degeneres was wrong.

raise yo hand if you cried when you saw that little kitty muffin cross through the apartment. THAT was perfect.

It seems like the cat was the only one who got out of this better than when it started.

He is legit the real deal. Proud to say he has been my mayor, not governor and my senator. And will be happy and relieved to say he is my Vice President.

“At least take it the Naval Observatory, guys. I have to get up early tomorrow to negotiate with Iran about implementing Sharia law here!”

I’m a new dad. Does anyone know where we meet for harmonica lessons? Do I have to sign up in advance? Thanks.

It’s disgusting he got away with grooming her and made Mia look like the jealous scorned wife and not a horrified mother that found naked photos of her teen taken by her father.

I have no idea. Incest is incest is incest. Whether someone is a blood relative of yours isn’t anything like the most important part of it. I still would like to go and see an occasional Woody Allen movie, but I never do because I cannot. give. this. man. my. money.