Ewwwwww.

Asshat republican aside, I for some reason just think he looks like creepy crispin Glover. Ew, hard pass. (Yet I would not pass on Crispin Glover, go figure)

Ewww. NO!

I will be real drunk very soon though once I finish up at work.

Hahahaha only drunk on lost love. I will be real drunk very soon though once I finish up at work.

Would peg. Not fuck. I don’t want to have to look in his eyes.

Hardest Would U EVER! Ok so he’s hot enough to do based on appearance alone, and if I only spoke, say, Norwegian, and knew zero English and nothing whatsoever about him OTHER than looks, I’d be all over that in a NY minute-obviously for a 1 night stand because more than once you gotta start to know the guy a little,…

I wouldn’t have sex with anyone who wouldn’t go halfsies on an abortion

I have not heard his voice. That is hilarious though.

I have a republican paramour (sex buddy, this one means sex buddy).

Yes, though I would record it and put it online. Then I would harass Ryan’s wife and children at their home by screaming from the sidewalk outside their home, “WHAT’S IT LIKE TO HAVE A FILTHY FUCKING SLUT IN YOUR FAMILY!?”

Okay:

Nope, the beard doesn’t hide his smug little expression. Objectively, he’s attractive enough, but the smug is a Sahara-maker down there.

I literally just texted my two friends to say that sometimes I think Paul Ryan is hot, and then I go into a shame spiral.

As a straight man I cannot answer this but I think it would be hysterical if he hooked up with some real freaky woman. The romp starts out calm, then the woman becomes a complete freak, comes back from the bathroom with a strap on, maybe sex on her period, and other stuff that as old boring guy I don't know about.…

I've never hate-fucked someone before and I feel like this would be a good place to start.

I would, even though I’m a straight dude. Scratch that: I’d do it because I’m a dude, and I’d immediately out him afterwards. I’m willing to (quite literally) take one for the team.

I could never because I still get “my children shouldn’t be left alone with you” vibes.

I always wanted to hate-fuck Eric Cantor. Something about his smarmy power did it for me, before he lost re-election.

No. First of all, I don’t care for beards and second of all I don’t want to fuck someone who is going to cheat on me by spending all day fucking literally millions of people.