When my parents were first married, my mom kept finding her grapefruit knives straightened out (she kept buying new ones). Turns out my father thought they were defective knives and kept straightening them out.

That’s okay. In 1989 before THE movie of the year came out my Dad kept wondering why there was a billboard of “a giant mouth closing” with no words anywhere to tell him what it was for...

It took me until 7th grade to realize Tigger was a tiger. They aren’t spelled the same and he’s not quadrupedal, so I didn’t put it together.

WAIT IS THAT WHAT THEY ARE?! I thought it was some antiquated product or like a stick you use to stuff tampons up there! (I don’t use tampons, and for the brief time I tried, mine had applicators...)

You beat me to it.

Betty White needs to lay off the crystal

It’d be great if he were a really skinny guy who went by Fat, like Fat Joe.

I hope we never find out. Because if we do that means her privacy has been violated badly and she doesn’t deserve that.

William Strampel? More like KILLIAM TRAMPLE because that’s what’s gonna happen in court, baby!!!!! /chid burn

I bet she’d bite if someone called he a pale-faced, mealy-mouthed ninny

Miss Melanie? Why NEVER!

Never

I assume Olivia de Havilland was the biter.

Damn it this pisses me off. She is a teenager.

“This just goes to show that none of you learned the most basic lesson in medicine, medicine 101, that you should have learned in your first week: don’t trust your patient”

Ah yes, the old long con played by five year-old children. A story as old as time!