I feel that way every time I read the comments for too long. Christ, man. The bodega guys are the only people who might notice if I actually went missing! I’ve legitimately thought about it before - I don’t have roommates, I’m in graduate school, my parents live states away. So yeah, my classmates and professor might…

That is a pretty close approximation of my facial expression during their 60 second elevator pitch.

On of the points of a “bodega” or corner store is not only getting the stuff you need but finding stuff you didn’t know you wanted or needed: Nopalitos, chicharron, and, yes, hamburger shaped candy. How boring is it to have a place that only stocks what you need at a particular moment? The people who welcome and use…

How is this more convenient than a vending machine? You literally need to download a proprietary app before you use it.

I teach the youths at the university. One of the great moments of any semester is when one of the youths, bolstered by the confidence and ignorance of the aforementioned youth and complete lack of background research, decides to tell me about their invention that will change the world. Much, much more often than…

I have gotten a lottery ticket (I play, like, once a year-you don’t need to tell me how dumb it is, I know), a green pepper, a birthday card, a carton of Perrier, ice cream, a razor, neighborhood gossip, a kind of obscure art magazine, and a friendly smile from the normally stone-faced owner just because he’s come to…

This is so so so stupid. Who are these tech bros with so little awareness of the world / city living? How many city dwellers don’t live in a building that can even accommodate this shit? WHERE IS THE BEER? WHERE ARE THE KINDER EGGS? WHERE IS THE ATM??? This twits have clearly never set foot in a bodega.

Fuck them. You can’t get fresh fruit, West Indian spices, or a cool, brisk walk of purpose from a damn vending machine.

I don’t get how a 6 pack of toilet paper or a hot bacon egg and cheese on a roll will fit through the vending machine slots.

Can it make me a bacon egg and cheese on a kaiser roll and wonderfully good cheap coffee? No? Then it is a vending machine.

I don’t have a problem with vending machines or having them in more places. My problem is more with this actual pitch for trying on purpose to get rid of bodegas and acting like their idea is this new amazing thing when really it’s something that’s always existed.

What are these boxes going to do for you if you think somebody might be following you home? Will they spot you a coffee regular and a buttered roll and let you pay them when you come back from work? How DARE they. Jerks.

The modern incarnation of the tech industry is truly the worst.

CONGRATULATIONS, ASSHOLES, YOU INVENTED THE VENDING MACHINE.

Unless it can make a bacon, egg, and cheese in two minutes and stocks vanilla Dutches it’s only gonna replace bodegas in shitty complete-white-invasion “nabes.”

I have never felt envy toward Christian Bale until now.

Burying those bodies was the least horrific thing they did to those same bodies.

That’s sad. She’s an amazing musician who has made many incredible recordings.

He humiliated her by posting that photo people reproduce whenever they want to point out how “ugly” she is. The one where she’s clearly bleary eyed from sleep, no makeup, and looking upset. I think he can be a spiteful petty person when he thinks he’s not getting the attention he deserves.

Oh man, I hope you told him “The way you treated me made me realize that there is no god. Thank you for that.” Nothing a come-to-Jesus person hates more than thinking they led someone astray!