Probably for the same reason why you don’t use capital letters.

Look, only *I* get to decide when my child learns where buffalo come from.

Punky! You have a dog named Brandon!

As usual, the most upsetting thing is how many Disney characters do not wear pants.

At least you get to WORK!!  

At least you get to leave the house -- I have to work at my dining room table.

Sometimes I kind of wish I wasn't essential personnel.

True story. Juries were all male in Chicago, almost all women who were on trial for murder were found innocent, usually because the jury didn’t think women could do it. That streak was broken when Polish immigrant and middle aged woman Tillie Kilemick was found guilty of poisoning husbands.  But for a few solid years…

No.  It’s not.

He had kind eyes. They could just tell it wasn’t him. 

The part that really pisses me off is it puts so much work into the mystery of who the killer is...and then it’s someone we’ve never heard of before. I also got a big laugh out of them losing the killer in a crowd who’ve inexplicably all dressed exactly like him, including a bit where they turn one random guy around…

See, I don’t know if it was ever meant to be read THAT far, unless there’s some supplemental material that draws a more distinct line there.

That said, even the most benign read of that still isn’t great. Especially on the heels of what happened to the ill-fated dancing girl Oola before her (quite literally killed…

It’s a bad narrative decision because it’s completely unearned. Vader assisted in the extermination of entire planets. He makes Hitler look like an amateur. Yet, all it takes is his throwing an old man in a hole to redeem him?

What about He-Man?

The teaser headline should really just say “keep weiss and benihoff away from hollywood.” They’ve proven they can adequately adapt someone else’s existing genius creative work with the help of that genuis’s strong guiding hand. They’ve also proven they have no breadth or depth of creativity to spin up anything from…

No, I don’t really know the job history or length of employment of each author.

So.

I’m glad I wasn’t the only one having super deja vu at Flanders being a father-type figure to Bart. I actually had to look up the movie plot to ensure I wasn’t crazy.

Also not Bart’s first time being expelled.

...are we absolutely sure this isn’t being auto-written now?

It always bugs me when they make Ned Flanders a huge asshole, because it totally ruins the whole joke of Homer hating him so much when he’s basically really nice, and spoils the underlying point that Homer hates him BECAUSE he’s really nice, which makes Homer feel like an asshole by comparison.