If Patrick doesn’t take her up on that offer and/or Marchman doesn’t force him to, then journalism is over.

Having horses in the Olympics is like having a dog show and giving the medal to the handler.

There’s a good one that didn’t make the cut where the reader used the phrase “Not only” seven times in a 400 word diatribe.

“Why would there be confusion if he spoke English? Joining us in in studio to discuss is Emmitt Smith.”

Men’s Swimming Olympic Gold Medals since 1896:

He entered thirteen hundredths of a second behind and handed off to the next leg a full second ahead. In a distance that is usually decided by those hundreths. The guys a swimming god.

Thats why I always brought 40's of OE to the party.

Counterpoint: None of his comments are that outrageous.

“lazy assholes”

Well fuck me you can replace a few pronouns and it reads like an interview with my ex-girlfriends.

The good news is that unlike the ATMs, tea, snack bars, etc. the condom dispenser will never be empty.

And after a year, you’re the guy who fought an ostrich for a year.
A horrific, terrifying year.

Also:

During my job interview, my boss asked me if I had experience using Excel. I told him that I excelled in it and got a little chuckle out of him. I have no clue what the fuck I’m doing on Excel, but no one has noticed for 8 years.

F surfing, marry ping-pong, kill equestrian.

I’ve always been partial to the Iced variety.

Shut the fuck up and take the mound for your trash team, kid.

+1 glass of water when you have a sec.

+18%

It's a bold move to throw a new cutter into his arsenal this late in the season.