“First of all, any negative talk about J.T. Barrett is that crap that comes from the south end of a north-facing male bovine. I am old enough not to give much for political correctness.”

Sure it’s a lie, but no one even bothered to check on this for like twenty years. President or not, Ben Carson is definitely getting asked to redo my CV.

This is a really beautiful review, and I’m extremely pleased to know this game had a directly positive effect on you. Hope things continue to improve.

At least we still have The Undefeated!

That list is a thing of phenomenal beauty. When the AP description of a game states (#36), “The Dolphins faked a field goal, tried a pooch punt instead and netted 2 yards. They had a 6½-minute drive that barely reached midfield,” but then continues with, “But the ugliest moment came in the third quarter...” you know…

I already knew enough about the guy to greatly dislike him, but now I wonder if I’ve ever even seen a picture of him. Is the goatee new? It’s horrible.

Who was a great actor during the Clinton administration, a great actor every year the Patriots won a championship, and the greatest actor ever to star in an orange juice commercial? Only one man can make that claim.

Explorers never had a timing belt; they’ve all had chains, and unfortunately (for some of those 4.0s anyway) I literally mean chains.

I’m trying to figure out whether Manziel is the worst Heisman Trophy winner. There are so many great candidates for that position, but his general uselessness as a human being has to put him in the running.

Counterpoint: Big Pea is watching.

This sounds like a toxic environment for all involved, but on the plus side I now get to say Lebron’s record in the finals is 2-4 as a player and 0-1 as a coach.

You completely phoned it in, and that is what makes you a true American.

I’m glad you asked me, Tom. It’s time for some consolidation...

Saban actually did address the Fluker thing in his introduction by explaining the 'Bama AD had just informed him of the article between practice and the press conference. I realize there's a lot of Saban (and Alabama) hate here, but his anger here is the same anger he displayed after the recent DWI arrest. This…

Goddammit, Burneko! Once again I have nothing to cook on Friday, all because I love your column and am lazy and unimaginative. Yet here you are in the comments of someone else's post... How dare you have interests that don't involve convincing me to use more butter!

Yep. Came for the science, but stayyyyyed for the ball jokes!