I'm not the biggest Van Damme fan, but when he's on, he really on. And Bloodsport and Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning were both ridiculously fun performances to watch.

The newest Triumph special that came out the other day is pretty solid as well. The bits where they take each candidate's supporters into focus group rooms and play some fake but authentic-sounding clips of Clinton and Trump saying truly horrific shit, and then listen to each side try to rationalise what they've just…

#deceasedlivesmatter

No one said it was insightful. Unlike what you've now gone on about it was just obvious.

So what? You say "point" like you just made one or that this has anything to do with your earlier comment, mine that you initially responded to, or the article. What possible tenuous, Glenn Beck-like connection are you trying to now make between those three guys having careers and you somehow being denied the chance…

Pass.

I'll have to take your word for it there. I have never in my life witnessed or heard tale of beer snobs quietly doing their beer snob thing only to be accosted by a civilian imploring them to please for the love of God, put down their extra hoppy, triple IPA brewed by monks, purposely blinded so that no individual…

Wow, Champ. It must be rough for you what with the bizarre problem of constantly having celebrity chefs interrupting you to analyze your meal. Not to mention being then being denied the opportunity to analyze your beer by people forcing you to go spend money and eat in whatever a "fine dining" place is.

It's not the prize package from the Showcase Showdown, is it?

I didn't see the Paula Deen thing. As far as the Rachel Ray bit goes though, if you're advising people to tip 10%, which no lie, would include things like not even leaving a full dollar if she had a cheap breakfast somewhere, that's just low class and fucked up.

I will forever be a fan just for the fact that he took shots at Rachel Ray over her $40 a Day bullshit show which was dependent on basically screwing over your server to keep it under $40. He was in Charleston the week after she was and ended up at a friend's restaurant where she had also dined. He asked the staff…

I think you mean get to.

Where's my series boxset, dammit?

Exactly.

Then enjoy analyzing beer. No one's stopping you. But beer snobs (like most people who are way too into something like wine snobs, coffee snobs, Joss Whedon fans) don't tend to just let you be.

Do something someone wants to watch and maybe they will. But hey, at least we both agree that you're an asshole.

This is not what a bar is about. A bar is to go to get a little bit buzzed, and pleasantly derange the senses, and have a good time, and interact with other people, or make bad decisions, or feel bad about your life. It’s not to sit there fucking analyzing beer.

That explains the Yakety Sax ringtone.

Marthe!!!

Well I guess it could be nice.