John and Chrissy are very good at being famous. I love them.

From yesterday’s article:

BECAUSE IF YOUR GOD DAMN JOB IS TO WATCH MOVIES AND SELECT THE BEST ONES, YOU SHOULD TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. ALSO MAYBE THESE SELF PRETENTIOUS ASSHOLES SHOULDN’T HIDE BEHIND ANONYMOUS COMMENTS. Feel better?

Seriously? Multiple great movies come out every year. A list of great 21st century films would take several minutes for me to punch into my phone. But real quick: the fact that Arrival (whether you like the film or not) was not a franchise or sequel film, was an original concept with deep and adult themes, was a…

This is one of my favorite responses to the whole celebrities-shouldn’t-talk-about-politics thing:

What right-wingers are upset by is that they can’t get any A-listers on their side. It drives them up the wall because they’re into celebs as much as everyone else and it just kills them that they’re always stuck with the likes of Scott Baio.

I immediately ruled out [Fences’] Viola Davis — don’t get me wrong, I love her and I think she’s wonderful, but that’s my protest vote. She should have been in the lead actress category, and when the studios put these actresses who are clearly the lead in the supporting category — like they did with [The Danish…

And why don’t those damn kids get off my lawn?! And what’s a “Moonlight” anyway?!

WHY WOULD YOU NOT WATCH EVERY MOVIE YOU GET THEM SHIPPED DIRECTLY TO YOU

I love these Oscar ballots!

I feel like they got access to the screener mailing list, found the nursing home with the most voters, and trolled around the lobby until they found the crabbiest crab in the barrel.

The New Yorker this week has a great look at former Academy voters who were ousted due to lack of involvement in the industry, and the supposed ageism behind it. One of the quotes is (I’m paraphrasing) “if there isn’t a role for a Chinaman, there isn’t a role for a Chinaman,” I shit you not

from the interview: “The Lobster was interesting but a little bit weird for me”

Honestly, she was the worst.

Your friend’s mom obviously deserved it.

How can someone this stupid understand the complexity of an NFL offense?

I always say Stringer Bell! When I see Idris Elba in something, even the Thor movies.

I had a boss who’s brother looks a little bit like Keanu Reeves. He went to a bar and sat next to someone who looked like Keanu Reeves. Made about comment about which one looked more like Keanu Reeves. Bar Keanu Reeves said that Brother Keanu Reeves did. Bar Keanu Reeves was Keanu Reeves.

Bite your tongue! He’s the best one.