The only appropriate reaction.

I do, too, but I think I’m just going to start biting. Either they move or i go to jail. Win/win.

I do this, too. They move out of my way.

Do you also get the most incredulous faces? Like WHOA I AM A MAN YOU SEE ME RIGHT?

In a similar but unrelated note, I now bump into men who walk right into my path instead of moving to the side as we pass on narrow sidewalks.

Oh man if we are doing that then you should know my safeword is pineapple

YES. Tim Minchin is another one of my biggest inspirations. Plus, he’s such a cool, smart, sweet guy. Have you seen Matilda yet? It’s phenomenal, and the music is so very Tim. He may be my favorite living male comedian.

I was thinking the same thing, just when you think the Gawker Media/Deadspin Xmas party can’t get any crazier, they take it up a notch…

Those things are creepy and not in a fun way.

Psssh, like a little thing like that is gonna stop it. Santa grows shelf elves from Jason Voorhees tissue samples. That thing would have been right back in position waiting for you before you even got back inside.

Someone needs to tell that fucking elf that snitches get stitches and end up in ditches.

Regina Hall is a highlight of everything she’s in because she’s fantastic.

After the first Scary Movie they all sucked but Brenda still the best

Here we go again.

My skin itched when I read that Martha Stewart was lumped in with the Housewives Of Who The Fuck Cares. Martha Stewart did shit, owned shit and has created a legacy. She is the doyenne of domestic. I fucking love her.

I wonder if each group of Housewives think they’re better than that other group of Housewives?

As John Waters said, there’s good bad taste and bad bad taste.

I’d like for them to try and take that crown off of my head.

Don’t lie - who (else) was hoping for a Miss Congenialty-type brouhaha?