Scenario: the housekeeper was actually in the country illegally (because Trump is EXACTLY the sort of guy who would hire an illegal immigrant as a housekeeper and pay her in cash), when she had the baby he gave her a ton of money and sent her back to Venezuela, and now his 30-year old son’s been stopped by ICE at the…

I think I’m experiencing Eric-related Stockholm Syndrome. By being the least terrible of them (or at least the least prominent) my mind is leaping for the false balance and suggesting he’s possibly good and worthy of sympathy.

For now, game this thing out as if he’s getting Raptured tomorrow: do a quick scan of finances, options, probabilities, and also your own goals. If he were to suddenly vanish, what would your path be and how does the pregnancy variable fit into that scenario.

The saintly bit probably comes in handy when getting the father of her kids to rehab through a paparazzi scrum without incident, though.

Evangelicals are just another interest group who will line up behind anyone who supports their goals. They don’t get a halo just because they carry Bibles - if you elect immoral people to represent you as your leader, then that’s it. That’s who you are. You’re a person willing to overlook sin because you like the…

I agree, but it’s rare enough that the US psychological terrorism can’t take hold.

My English friend moved her family to the US and a few months later, sent me a video of her adorable toddler asking for “wadder”. TERRIBLE.

This is exactly what I ended up with, too. France rhymes with pants, though of course we’re also assuming it’s the Brit version of “pants”. Or at least I am.

“Bin” and also “rubbish”, also “bin liners” and “washing up”, there’s a lot of kitchen-related jargon. Adjust to survive, no shame in that. And yes, my Brit parent is probably behind the exact same conditioning - NEVER say “I don’t care”, it’s rude.

I would sometimes pretend that when they spelled things out, I didn’t understand the letters “H” or “Z” (“haitch” and “zed”). I’d make them repeat it, looking more confused each time.

Oh god I didn’t realize that would count, I say things like that all the time. You’re right, now I’m thinking about it.

This is not a bad thought.

Discussing which day I had my ‘duty’ was always a piss-taking contest amongst my British coworkers.

They were actually great coworkers, so the constant “aaaaaaanh”ing was more funny than anything.

I can tell you I sound like a right twat doing it, be it Yankee or yokel. I HATE IT.

I’m guessing “sor-ray”?

I had to say the word “France” quite a lot in my first job in the UK, and my coworkers handled it by dropping whatever they were doing, spinning around in their chairs and nasally droning “AAAAAAAAAAAANH” at me whenever I said it. And now I have this bizarre way of saying “France” that is kind of in the middle of my…

Ones that I’ve retained, just off the top of my head: shag, ponce, knackered, lift, mobile, cab, ring (as in “give me a”), twat, git, data (pronounced with a flat a), flat, post, cheque (spelled), GP (general practitioner). Bunch of others not coming to mind right now.

Frants vs. Frahnce

I lived in England for a decade and have a British parent, so can verify that your accent and vocabulary absolutely slide due to prolonged exposure and, in the case of certain words, psychological terrorism from UK coworkers who hate the way you say “France”. I got back to the States and my aunt started calling me…