If they do build a park they should have this flying at the entrance. It would be a nice touch for the place.

Because 2 is too few, and because 3 is odd and unlucky, you should always follow the rule of 4. 4 is a nice tidy symetrical approach to drunkenness.

Seriously. I know people who can get hungover after a half a glass of wine - I, emphatically, am NOT one of those people. For me, a nice manageable evening is starting out with a lighter cocktail (e.g., Aperol spritz rather than a Manhattan) and then, say, a half-bottle of wine.

Turn Down For What!

Thats why I always brought 40's of OE to the party.

Professional wisdom suggests that if this is advice you are considering, you should actually be having zero drinks at parties, and also everywhere else.

The Soviet Union is gone, but that didn't mean the commies left. And there's nothing a commie likes more than dominating international sporting events that most people in the free world could give two shiats about. We must win the gold in 10m air pistol for the glory of the motherland!

“Worst quarterback in the NFL,” [Michael] says.

are we sure that “Jan Bowxill” and “Julius Nyang’oro” are even real people? Sound like made up names to me

-Vice President of Ultimate Frisbee

You were taking notes on your phone in a movie theater? You are not a bad mom, just a bad person.

I lived in a frat house for two years and found myself scrolling through these pictures saying “it could be worse”. Broken faucets, overflowing garbage, no toilet seats/toilet paper, a river of shit from the time we were poisoned with laxative brownies from a rival house, STDs...etc etc.

Yeah, but the best Pretender is still Chrissie Hynde.

I listened to your mother all night long, Trebek.

Shit, I get upset when I have to scroll to the bottom of a drop down menu to get the the US.

I find gladiatorial combat to be an intriguing and unorthodox proposal for the homeless problem in San Francisco. I am open to hearing more...

If you were a White Sox fan, and there aren’t many of us left, you’d completely side with Sale.

People think that Chicago is some sort of 1920s gangster dystopia.

Shut the fuck up and take the mound for your trash team, kid.

Congratulations Chicago on dodging that bullet.