Multimillionaire pro athlete promises to buy mother-in-law a house; doesn’t tell her it’s a trailer. They truly lead lives the rest of us dream of.

Keep hitting it with the log.

Emmitt Smith: So that’s why they call it an “oldbitchuary.”

I’m sure there’s a jalopnik staff slashfic thread somewhere.

Jesus I’m trying to think of an insult worse then “reminded me of the last generation Sunfire/Cavalier” and have got nothing. If I was Nissan marketing this would have me curled up in the corner crying right now.  

Hahahahahaha...sorry, let me catch my breath. With a 12, nigh 13 year old Audi you are basically buying yourself the scary Victorian house at the end of the street that everyone marvels at but you know people get murdered and turned into wall art in there. I’m telling you from experience, do NOT go in there.

“Let’s Go Crazy” is a better national anthem, and I’m not being the least bit facetious.

Based on the pictures I’ve seen of his hair, he’s clearly using this one:

:: flips switch on belt ::

Better ideas:
1) Everyone has to stand for the anthem but the anthem is now, “Let’s go Crazy” by Prince.
2) All players stand for the anthem ON the united states flag.
3) All players who choose to kneel for the anthem must also be iced.
4) Cops stop harassing, assaulting and killing innocent people (HAHA jkjkjkjk!)
5) Any…

I wondered the same thing. Suburban schools like Edina and Eden Prairie have more non-Asian girls on their teams, but those girls don’t treat it like their main sport, as the Johnson girls do. I asked the Johnson girls about the Asian dominance and they put it up to the fact that most Hmong people live in the Twin…

No one is cut from the team. There’s varsity, JV and C squad, and everyone who comes out can play at the level their skills determine. As it turns out, the vast majority of the 100 or so girls who come out for badminton in March are Asian. The girls themselves, not the coaches, find their level at the beginning of the…

Looks down in toilet: Oh!

Counterpoint: NO. I’LL TAKE THEIR WORD FOR IT.

.... I don’t think we need that.

Important distinction. Outside of Milwaukee (like, immediately outside) you’re talking about a lot of extremely affluent, extremely white suburbs that would love nothing better than to put up a big fat wall around Milwaukee itself and turn it into District 9.

It looks like the center of the hood has a slight rise running the length. There’s probably a scoop behind the top part of the grill that takes in the air and runs it through that channel.

What was the last Subaru you were in? My ‘18 Outback feels on par with any of it’s competitors.

Mmmmm, Lesbians. Doing all of those lesbian things like working, picking up kids from school, cooking, cleaning, mowing, wrenching, hiking, watching Netflix...it’s almost like they are just like the rest of us, dammit.