When the world ends half the people under 40 will witness it through a twitter feed and half will retweet “FAKE!”

They shouldn’t blame him though, kids today are born with phones attached to their hands like an alien appendage. He probably would forget how to breath without it.

I believe in myself. So...

Keep your fucking pets at home fachrissakes. This has been a public service announcement.

People wearing dumb looking hats shouldn’t be allowed on the train either

He has a very punchable face. 

And acts younger.

That’s no moon...

Never understood the fascination of a sunroof. Let alone one with a manual car. They would only sell 5 of them. 

30mph sounds about right

Unless you'd like to, you know, actually drive one on the street.  

What’s her number? XD

An Elon Musk post. Good! You guys never talk about him.

WTF?

I am neither insecure nor a teenager, but I am male.  And a smartass.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that...

We found the gay guy! ;)

Congratulations, Mr. Daddio, on COTD! I would like to gift you with an IDK car which this lovely lady will deliver soon with no tweets given.