Replace the bread crumbs with crushed up pork rinds and now your talking.

Tesla’s autopilot is like Kraft’s processed cheese ‘product’. Not actually cheese, but kinda.

...one of the worst ways to ruin that new-car smell is by replacing it with the attractive aroma of puke.

Tesla is great at starting 15 different things and only half-ass finishing 1 or 2 of them. No more new projects until you finish the solar tile roof.  

Gimmick-y crap. Oh - look a shiny thing. Remember when CDs first came out and people were hanging them on their inside mirrors like fuzzy dice? People are dopes.

I didn’t see it. But if it makes you feel better Kia always instantly brings to my mind Killed In Action. 

How do you feel about polyester - oh, sorry - alcantara? 

the Mitsubishi Mirage is a *luxury* item now

REAL leather

It looks like a pregnant station wagon. 

I feel like those who would believe it are the ones we need to reach.

He’s upset because the crappy car scratched up his rock.

...no feasible way to actually haul them out

I, myself, am looking forward to a nice long drive in a Renault Alliance.

Some carefully applied heat and some gentle persuasion would be the way to go.

My seat belt has never exploded in my face. Just sayin’.

The Black Cauldron. It’s in his chart.

...a rusty guillotine

That has to be a fake. It isn’t nearly as ugly as a real one.

The reliability department was laid off... in 1957.