Right here we go, translation (mostly!) incoming:

Awesome! So there IS justice. The Russian pig got captured by the people he’s been murdering with random, indiscriminate bombing.

No wait, that’s high on speed testing for bus drivers...

Unless you get a stain on them, men’s jeans never, ever need to be washed.

Crack Pipe because it’s a 1000hp mustang.

2006 Cadillac STS-V. 4.4L super charged north-star V8 putting out 440hp/430lb-ft, 6spd auto, 4.6 seconds to 60. When Car & driver tested it in 2006 is beat the CLS55 AMG, but could not beat the M5. It is 1 owner, elderly driven. All yours for $18,500.

I feel like a used Jaaag could be the answer to most of these challenges. Here’s a rather nice one, red 2002 XKR, lovely beige/cream interior, plastered in wood and divorce papers. And, of course, a 4.2L Supercharged V8.

Why have a car when you can have a truck? 2000 SVT Lightning in this case.

Everything’s removable if you try hard enough!

These god damn screws that some manufacturers insist on putting in brake rotors:

Are you lost?

Purple was the color of the 90s? Incorrect. Teal, or you weren’t there. Also need one of those pink “pulse” / ECG decals on the door, but the web seems not to remember those existed.

Not soon enough.

Okay.

thanks dad

what the fuck is this?!?

/thread