Goddammit Barry, I seem to have something in my eyes. Or it’s dusty in here. Or my allergies are acting up.

And the winner of your online naming poll will be...

Know someone more important who isn't hot? Harambe. Because the man had him assassinated #neverforget

They are the only non-Virgin writers at Deadspin.

it’s important to have a good weed consultant

This doesn’t bode well:

Definitely thought that might get me out of the greys haha

Let me know when WWE(/F) goes back to TV-14 and this sort of thing doesn’t create headlines.

Lochte: My actions were inexcusable, and un-Belize-able. Get it!
Agent: Ryan the games were in Rio De Janeiro.
Locthe: Eh, same state, whatever.

The blonde woman sings...

More like...JEAH baby!

FUN FACT: Scott Tolzien has never actually played a down at quarterback at any level. He’s actually a male model from the Czech Republic.

Reporter: Sorry, Steve. When I asked about, “that incredibly painful nut shot,” I was referring to Durant going to Golden State.

Adams: *Sobs uncontrollably*

Finally, the moment my stupid Kinja handle has been waiting for.

Screaming “Give me back my son!” is a surefire way to win at Taboo when the word “Ransom” comes up, provided you’re playing with movie geeks, preferably those in their mid-30s and older.

“Brett Favre...just sayin’!”

Sentient old broccoli or this:

She is an awful candidate who sat on the board of Walmart while they were abusing workers, she called black people “super predators,” she is a full-on Wall St candidate, voted for all of the wars and her tenure as Secretary of State left even more middle eastern nations crumbling in her wake.