I may or may not know something about weddings —so far a 50% success rate or married twice, but, I never obsessed over details. My first wedding was planned and paid for 2 weeks before the ceremony after a year engagement. my second a run away Vegas weekend. I tend to live in the moment and focus on…

Mashed potato candy. Left-over mashed potatoes stiffened with confectioners sugar to the point of fondant. Great Aunt's recipe for OK on Mr. Stumbles side. *shudder.

Get it, Son.

Dammit— You may be a bit to highbrow for me.

Shrewish middle aged nag here who may trade out for food on a nice table every day for the rest of my life in a quiet tropical location. Are you negotiating?

One person's awkward is another person's Jon Leguizamo.

many threads; little weft.

I can get behind Kathy Bates, but, no more Adam Levine, right?

They will worship at the feet of Helen Mirren.

Fair eggs are overcooked. Have one made with a soft boiled egg, proper breakfast sausage with sage, breaded in saltine cracker crumbs. You cut into it and the yolk oozes. When it meets your lips, you have a "Harry met Sally" moment. Then we'll talk.

....ya'all.

Bride and Groom presumed the minister would supply the marriage license. Ah, youth. And no, City Hall wasn't open on Saturday at 6 pm. During the signing part of the ceremony, the Pastor explained to the guests that the oversight would be remedied asap as soon as the couple returned from the honeymoon. The bride's…

re: those pearls

I once married a man who could back it up anything attached to a truck hitch. Boats, trailers, 5th wheels. Pivot it, place it, maneuver it into anywhere within inches without ever doubting his ability. Slid it right in. Made me completely weak in the knees. I loved him so.

Tweet-dle Dum.

Heath is a more attractive package in his present state than above creature ever will be. I sooooooo dislike Perry.

The one walking off......"you're so f"n mature, Brah. Whatever". Lodo style.

I do know the stretch. If the Beiber was smeared with lunchy fingerprints, the coyotes got him.

Duckhorn winery. The Golden Eye pinot is beautiful.

Truth. Vegas is a money making staged machine. The hot girl at the bar who smiled at you is more than likely paid to accept a cocktail. The pool talent is paid talent as well. You came to throw money—we catch.