Being too old to get with the times, I’m just going to yell at the youngsters to get off my jawn. I just assume that works.

I go to parties.

Because New Yorkers don’t have a comical air of superiority. As if paying insane prices for everything somehow makes them better than anyone else. Personally, I think it makes them idiots. And I swear to all that is good and holy that if I have to hear a displaced jackhole from NYC tell me they can’t get a decent…

100% of homes with squirrels are firmly in the Deez Nuts camp.

Epic is a pretty apt term. It was everything I could have ever wanted in a show. Even the 50 year olds in 30 year old spandex and tour shirts was too much.

10 plus years ago my buddy and I had tickets to Motorhead, Dio and Maiden. Traffic actually did suck and we got there late. Luckily, we no sooner got to our seats and they ripped into “Ace of Spades”. Crises averted.

“(1) I have not had a TV in my house since 2005”

My stepdad’s friend Tim said that sometimes it makes more sense to teach your kids a marketable skill so they can actually go out and make money instead of sucking up all your resources. That’s how he can afford all his child support payments.