Since we’re really going to get pedantic...

How many bags of almonds count as a handful?

For everyone replying that your friends can afford baby sitters: have a little compassion.

Sic burn.

“And that requizission I put in for spell check 9 years ago has never been honered. This is intolorabel.”

I now note that only 1 person’s thoughts in every conversation are worth hearing.

You obviously forgot to read before you commented. Hominids been eating tongue for millions of years :) RICH ASS HOMINIDS

Not pictured: the Gap Kids ad from just a few years ago wherein a black model was using a white model as an armrest in almost the exact same pose.

It’s nice to see his manager pissed on his behalf.

I got a huge raise during my latest job change. The key was that I didn’t need the job I was applying for... I understand this isn’t the case with everyone. BUT—if you are in that situation, what I did was often and emphatically (when appropriate) state that I was very interested in the position, but that if I was…

When a scout at the combine asked me if I thought my mother was attractive.

Despicable. The only thing that should have been laid out flat on its side was the phone they used to film the workout.

It’s easy to reduce deficit spending when the amount your spending is so astronomically high year in and year out. 10 trillion in debt will be added is what you need to know. It took over 200 years to get to 10 trillion debt, it will take Obama 8 years to do the same. But hey he keeps reducing spending! Naww not…

These are just pictures of white people.

I don’t know why you didn’t just use a full length portrait and eliminate the uncertainty.

“bearing” is the word you were looking for.

I used to work with a woman whose son was on HGH because of a pituitary gland issue... he was 16 and about 4’5”. She said they spent around $20,000 they didn’t have to get it, and he ended up at 5’8”. They had to drive several hours to see his doctor 3 states away as well...

(Whatever the result from the equation above) squared

This is a great article, but even though I saw their first bout, and thoroughly enjoyed it, I just cant get excited for this fight.

There’s a future for you writing Nationwide commercials for the Super Bowl.