I think the real issue being discussed here is that this comic fucking sucks.

I used to do that on my arms, because peeling it off after it dried was weirdly satisfying and fun to 8-year-old me, until my parents told me that doing so could give me cancer. I now realize that was a pretty damn scorched-earth strategy for making your kid stop wasting glue.

Upvoted for "JJ Abrahams" because it sounds like what would happen if the Asylum had their in-house directors use ripoff pseudonyms to match their ripoff movies, which would be great.

The Plane That Couldn't Speed Up

You guessed it: Frank Stallone.

Hamilton
Hamilton
Hamilton
Hamilton
Hamilton
Hamilton
Hamilton
Hamilton
Monsanto
Hamilton

Say what you want about No Escape, but if nothing else it reminded me of how delighted I always am by sudden, inexplicably bizarre Brosnan roles.

"Honey, don't drink that! Those aren't milk bottles! They're…SPERM SAMPLES!"
*husband spit-takes a mouthful of jizz across the room, remaining 20 minutes of the movie are National Lampoon-esque grossout comedy*

Bulk and Skull standalone spinoff starring Kristian Nairn and Max Greenfield!

Me too, especially because I I couldn't help but hear "You're not getting MY baby you grief witch!" being shrieked by Titus Andromedon.

Just wait until the R-rated, Frank Miller-esque Dick Tracy movie that will enter production about twelve seconds after a doctor pronounces Warren Beatty dead.

The answer to "I wonder how Alan Moore feels about this?", regardless of context, is always "He's pissed as hell."

THE AV CLUB
Shitting their pants, but loudly, on the internet

If I ever need to conduct a drug handoff in a location guaranteed to be totally empty and without witnesses, I'll head straight for an AV Club early premiere screening.

It's the Riddler!

Don't get me wrong, there are more than a few absolutely incredible choral pieces in both the Catholic and protestant canon. I was referring to what you'd find in the average Lutheran hymnal: the musical equivalent of unflavored Triscuits.

My external sensors are detecting high levels of the cognitive stimuli humans refer to as "buuurn".

I was raised Lutheran, and so I was utterly astonished to learn that spiritual music came in flavors other than "barely-melodic medieval droning" or "soulless rock-me-Jesus power ballad".

I only recently discovered Little Richard's gospel work, and I'm absolutely in love with it.

That kind of music has always bothered me, even back when I self-identified as Christian. It always struck me as hollow, self-congratulatory, vaguely condescending, and (worst of all) marketed. "What do kids these days like? Is rock 'n roll still hip? It is? Great, just do that!" I understand and appreciate the…