this content is 100% wholesome and I am here for it.  good on you for petting where petting was warranted, and having the sense to let sleeping dogs lie.

The first few lines of this read like copy from the J Peterman catalog.

So when do this year’s stories get released?  I’ve been F5ing all day to no avail.

Might be better to have a little extra though, just in case.

I was thinking Muttley personally.

Florida too.  I got sent to the principal for various shitty things I did as a small child, but never got the paddle.  Even in middle school in the early 90s it was still a thing.

Never meet your heroes.

My wife’s a big Kings fan from the Gretzky days.  She hates the Blues, and especially Brett Hull.  When I told her the Blues had won the cup she said the worst part was it meant that somewhere, Brett Hull was happy.

The E is for Entertainment. I am not making this up. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuck_E._Cheese_(character)

I hear Patton Owsalt is attached to play Glomer.

keep replay, but only at normal speed and a time limit of like a minute or two. 

BEES ARE COMING!

Did you used to live in Pensacola by any chance?

MacGyver did this once, but I think he wiped motor oil on it instead.  Same principle though.

that’s a bassoon you philistine

+1 kimchi

Wait a minute.... RAND Corporation. RANDall Colburn. How deep does this rabbit hole go??