Are you reading this, Pulitzer committee?

Of course chemtrails are real. They’ve always been real. They’re the lines that the aliens follow behind and sniff up. That’s why the government keeps them up, to keep our hostile visitors too stoned to attack us. Those UFO sightings you periodically read about? Yeah, that’s when the aliens get so messed up that they…

Years ago I found the easiest way to determine which people on social media I didn’t want to be friends with. You posted one serious thing about chemtrails and boom unfriended, as well as anyone with anti-semitic stuff, but anti-semites and chemtrail conspiracy seem to go hand in hand.

Which makes me wonder why they spend 90% of the memo talking about closing or tapping the hydrants illegally.

Only Philly would need elected officials who would actually make statements with actual reason in their response to dumpster-pools. Every other city would just go, “Gross.” and wait for the trend to stop after the participants succumb to leopidopteritis of the anal cavity, but Philly knows that no disease stops the…

So what they are saying is that if you can fill it up without using a hydrant... game on.

dumpster diving at its finest

Then sell it for $100,000 more then the standard 488.

They should offer that duct-tape bodywork as a limited edition. The Joe Dirt Ferrari.

Just last night, one of my teammates was complaining about his girlfriend being moody, to which I replied: “Have you been fingering her?”

I prefer “fingerbang” “fingerblast” or “the enemy below”

orly

This is so fucking stupid. I’M GLAD YOU CAN SPORTS GOOD, BRO

Everything is a social issue. Everything is a damn crusade. There’s thinking something is wrong, and then there’s endless grandstanding.

She’d actually be really good on Comedy Central.

Here we have a woman explaining that women actually do understand sports, and doing so by demonstrating a great way to break your fingers while laying down a bunt.

God, she deserves a better platform than FS...

Great, now I really want to see a blimp that says “OH THE HUMANITY”