Several years back, we got a rescue pup. Now rescue pup (RP) had a tendency to bark for attention, never sat still and was 100% fearless (no, seriously. He tried to make friends with a working lawnmower. Fucking fearless). Right around the time RP turned one, he still was fearless, barked for attention and had…

I posted this earlier. I hope you guys enjoy it.

I know! Can't we ever be alone?

Yup, I'm the same way. My friends call me a "shame shitter."

Wow, you just reminded me that I guarded for the boyfriend whilst he took a street piss on our first date. How could I forget such a moment?!

we have been married for 20 years and there is no way in hell I would poop in front of him.

I've been with my husb for almost 30 years. He's never seen me poop and vice versa. Not gonna happen.

This falls way, way down below "subsidized child care" and "paid maternity/paternity leave" as reproductive policy priorities in my book.

I definitely recall screaming, "DON'T LET HIM DOWN THERE" when the midwife asked if he wanted to cut the cord. Heh.

Aaahhh, a work-around. That wouldn't interrupt anything! Clever.

Coming from the medical field all I can think is OH GOD OH GOD INFECTIONS. I assume your providers put you both on some kind antibiotic regimen immediately following.

That look on his FACE. I don't know whether to coo, or challenge him to a duel.

I don't wear Spanx myself, but for those who do, I don't know how you could get dressed or undressed in front of someone without them knowing this. Seems to me that one's inevitably out as soon as you start having sex.

NEVER ever. I just can't picture a scenario where that is necessary. I TRY not to fart in front of my boyfriend either, but I do sleep and I fart in my sleep but I do the best I can.

I dunno, once me and my partner were driving in the Nevada desert and got out for a pee stop by the side of the road. He was nervously like, "I think I have to do a number 2...", recognizing the desert was the only option, my eyes lit up, handed him the TP, and I said "Let's do this baby!". We both took a shit in…

No. The answer is, you never poop, fart, or burp in front of people because it is rude and why would you not extend the same level of courtesy to your partner you would to a stranger?

Yes, poop = NEVER.

Yeah! And also, I need to hide the fact that I had a fried fish platter for lunch.

I know!!! I was completely baffled by that one too.